A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. Proverbs 16:28
The better part of Paul’s life was spent raising up churches. After beginning his ministry in Antioch, Paul preached the gospel tirelessly throughout the Gentile regions of Asia Minor, and then travelled on into Europe. After spending time in the most degenerate heathen cities, Paul left them with thriving congregations. As he aged, the apostle sought to safeguard the churches he raised through trusted individuals. In particular, Paul looked to the young man Timothy, whom he called ‘my own son’, as the heir of his profession.
After several imprisonments by his persecutors, Paul perceived that his time in this world was soon to close. Setting his affairs in order, this wise father wrote letters of instruction to his sons, as we see in the epistles to Titus and Timothy. Within these personal letters are found various instructions on how to manage the church. From experience, Paul had learned what is most destructive to the plant of love that binds hearts in a Christian assembly. One of the most malignant congregational diseases that Paul admonished Timothy to remedy was that of talebearing.
According to Paul, this sin was particularly the practice of the younger widows who were being supported by the church. For this reason, Paul advised Timothy against providing for younger widows with church offerings. Being restless on account of not having to work, such ‘learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house’. The habitual visitations of these idle women were a source of great evil, for such were ‘not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not’ (1 Timothy 5:13). Having no husband to attend to, and with their living costs covered, such women wandered from house to house as busybodies, ‘tattling’ or engaging in gossip.
Like Paul, Solomon did not see such activity as trifling. Not restricting this sin to widows or women, the wise man denounced the gossiper as ‘a froward [perverse] man’ who ‘soweth strife’, and ‘a whisperer [who] separateth chief friends’ (Proverbs 16:28).
Busybodies may comfort themselves that the gossip issuing from their lips is justified. But even if the accusations whispered in the ears of another are true, this doesn't clear the whisperer of guilt. The Hebrew name ‘Satan’ means ‘accuser’ or ‘adversary’. We may be privy to the faults and sins of a certain brother or sister, but is not Satan also privy to the sins he has tempted us to commit? It is the arch fiend who is ‘the accuser of the brethren…which [accuses] them before our God day and night’ (Revelation 12:10). We become the recruits of the chief accuser when we repeat the shortcomings of others, or utter evil surmisings against a fellow creature. As the devil works to tarnish our names before God, so the whisperer works to separate chief friends by their idle talk.
Whatever justifications one might give, the motives behind such talk is unholy. Envy, jealousy, and the sinful satisfaction of repeating the failures of another are the base reasons behind gossiping. By pulling others down in the minds of others, we attempt to make ourselves look good. But the ‘vile person’ who ‘doeth evil to his neighbour [and] taketh up a reproach against his neighbour’ is ‘contemned’ in the eyes of ‘He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart’ (Psalm 15:2-3). It is our duty to rebuke a brother or sister who would be so unkind as to open before us the secret sins of another, or use their influence to discredit another. By receiving gossip without resistance, we ourselves become guilty of the same sin.
If we have a problem with someone, it is that person with whom we should speak. The members of Christ’s body are to be accountable one to another, to heal, and not destroy His other members.
Christopher Sparks